Saturday, July 25, 2009

I Played it, But I'm gone.

This is what I am feeling!
I want it all or nothing... Does that make me selfish or does that make me human??

Is it wrong that I live in this little land that makes me happy and makes me smile to think of the good times and leave out all the bad times?

I appear strong to everyone, I don't want anyone to see the tears that run down my face, because I want to wipe the tears from everyone else. I want to see you smile the biggest smile that you have, even if you don't feel like smiling.. Does that make me selfish or human?

I see things I wish not to see anymore at all, I hear things that I don't want to be apart of. It hurts me so bad, and I have no one to hold my hand or send me words of encouragement. My heart is truly hurting, my eyes feel up with tears for no reason. "She" hurts me and you allow her too. I have that song etched in my head, Everybody Plays a Fool.... SOMETIMES!! and this time the fool was me.

Im gone now, no seriously I am, I can't look back. I have nothing left but of a river of tears and a heart shattered in a million pieces.

I Love you, Have fun and remember SMILE!

6 Returned Loved:

Ghost Particle said...

we spend half of our lives catching up, then suddenly we realize we are far infront and the others r left behind.

then we take a break thinking they will catch up, but they gave up halfway and went on another path.

no tears or regrets for them. life goes on :)

u stay on the course, good things come when you have faith. and the new people we meet will define more of the future we choose than the ones who left.

Reality Check said...

Oh Sivan, NO REGRETS! I Loved every minute of it and if I could do it again I would.

Soon, I will be NE again. So I will be that lil country girl that dreams those big dreams all over again. And soon I will be.... well you already know. lol

I love Ya Sivan, good and sane comment you gave.


Ria said...

I hope u get across this phase soon hun!!my best wishes r with u. Dont let this bog u down. i hope u emerge stronger from this experience.

Mayz said...

u r rigth when u said everyone is PMS'n...all of us have lost me...anyone related to me...i guess its me rubbin off on ppl...

i'll keep my distance from ya for a few days...

i think my mood is creatin chaos everywhere

Reality Check said...

Ria you are like the sweetest person and I know that your concerns are genuine.. I will get over it.. you are a great person!!

Reality Check said...

your not doing anything, you have not caused chaos in my life, prolly yours because you need a good dose of anger management, other than that you are someone that keeps me grounded also.. you keep me thinking even when you want to think for me..

You keep your distance and I will beat your ass! lol

love ya!!