The Can't Sleep Rambles...

I know I have not written anything in such along time and when I do I have been going to My online Journal Hannah's Journal that a lot of you all have stopped by from time to time... But It is 2:04 am and I am up. I sit here for no reasons. I don't know what to type or what to do I am just up. I have tossed and turned alnight.

People I have said many times, I am going to leave the online world. I just don't feel this anymore. I want peace from everything here lately. I want to just I dunno. I have met the worlds most awesome people here in blogville and I have fallen inlove with all of you.. I really have.

RAMBLE STARTS! I HOPE YOU ALL CAN KEEP UP!

Don't you hate it when the people that you hold dear to your heart pretend they don't know you? or hey, I did not see you there... my all time favorite, They don't notice you at all? Well I have decided that I don't want to know such people like that anymore.. I don't want those friendships of Convenience for them. I don't care if you are online or offline. I don't want friends that know me sometimes and hide and or just don't remember me.....

I really want some ice cream right now, maybe that will help me to sleep and stop spilling all of my thoughts right now. I just let things bother me to much. But if I am good to people I have always been told they will be good back to ya. FAT LIE PEOPLE! I have grown so much blogging and just grown so much here lately from what life has taught me.. Life does not let you down, it is the people and or circumstances that we come in contact with that lets you down... beit family or friends or just people that passes by on the street, train, plane anywhere. I want to be one of those people that you remember for having a smile on her face. I am always the type that will hug you or just be there for you to listen to when you need a ear or a shoulder..

I hope I have been there for you, (those of you that have needed me) and those that may one day. Remember me, please, Not with tears, or sadness in my eyes or my voice but remember all the happy chats, phone calls(drunk Dials) I think It is time for me to get from behind this wall (computer screen) and make a life for myself. Stop drudging the past and carrying it around with me.. Maybe one day when you hear the name Hannah, Ne or Nehya you will say She was a great person... I hope so..

I am not saying I will not be around from time to time. But I will get out more. I will meet new people and I will leave the past, but remember all the sweet memories. I have a lil unfinished business to handle.. I will be blogging from time to time at one of my places just to update.. and you know I will farm on farmville.. Work is taking all of my time, and my eyes cannot stand to be infront of this bright light all the time... I love you all

Hannah, Ne, NeNe,, Nehya (watever it is you want to call me!) haha

Whining...........

I slept in today, and by sleeping in I mean I did not get up until like 4pm~ish..
I have not felt good at all for at least 3 mths, I try to forget about it throughout the day but today it really got to me.. I got up and met my friends at the airport and then came home and just rested to the point where they took my jeep and went to L.A. without me and I really did not care..

I wanted sleep, rest from pain.. Graves is something that I don't wish on noone.. Oneday you can see the next day you are pretty much blind.. Your legs and everything hurt so bad that you just decide to give up.. Only for a moment right now.. but I am wondering when I will just say that I am really sick and tired of being sick. I dunno and I guess it really does not matter at this point, I am moving on and hoping this disease don't kill me before I get a chance to do all that It is I want to accomplish in my life.. I lie every time I open my mouth about how good I feel, I don't want anyone to feel down or to be worried about me.. I just want to see my friends and family happy...

Okay enough whining I think I am going to go back to sleep and or lay here wondering about the one regret that is killing me right now..

Shalom!

Checking IN...

So, I am in California.. A state that I never even had a desire to live in.
I was suppose to sign a 6mth lease today but I ended up only signing a
3 mth lease. I am the type of person that does not want to commit to
something like this without ya know really liking it. I met up with one
of my many bosses Bob, that was almost an hour late picking me up from
the airport. Then on to check into the hotel room.

Avi met me there so that he could take me to the apartment to sign the
lease. After everything was settled and I went shopping, I decided it was
time for me to take a nap. I have been laying across this bed forever, I did
go out to eat, but I ordered in. I am getting ready to just lay here and read
a book and then, we all know what will happen, I am going to go to bed. I am
going to a rock climbing place in the morning for some cardio.. then I am going
to get ready to come home, I don't know I may stay a lil while longer. I dunno.

Something great has happened to me since I arrived I guess I should tell ya,
but then again I will tell you in the next post or at least one of them. lol

I miss all of yall, and well I guess this is where I am suppose to be. BOB says hi..
and we are getting ready to give each other facials.. So CD there is your answer!!

Hannah!!

My EYES!

Today I slept in before going to the Doctor to get my eyes looked at.. I decided that I am going to have cosmetic surgery.. I am going to have lasik but I am also going to have my eyes reshaped.

I am a eye person and ever since I started having trouble with my eyes I have not been happy with them so I decided I will be blind for like 2-3 weeks in order to look Fab! lol

The queen of "I Love Cosmetic Surgery" went with me (chan) and I think I am going to be happy.. I think I am going to have a great time looking at me. I decided I needed a change, I always think I need a change, maybe it is my esteem? lol I have also been thinking about doing the Miss Kentucky Padget. Gosh I think I am following in someones footsteps and giving in to narcissism.

People, change is alright, Living life to the fullest is something that we all have to do. And to tell you a secret I am fine..Fine being on my own and fine to know that I have accomplished a lot in my life. There are a few things that I am not fine with but in due time I am going to be fine with that also.. Ya know me!

I am going through a very young Midlife crisis and getting ready to be an owner of a 2009 BMW boxster silver in color and well I think I am going to really enjoy it...I dunno what else to write her so I think I will hurry up and get off the blog before I go into a rant mode. lol

Your Dear friend
Hannah.