The Can't Sleep Rambles...

I know I have not written anything in such along time and when I do I have been going to My online Journal Hannah's Journal that a lot of you all have stopped by from time to time... But It is 2:04 am and I am up. I sit here for no reasons. I don't know what to type or what to do I am just up. I have tossed and turned alnight.

People I have said many times, I am going to leave the online world. I just don't feel this anymore. I want peace from everything here lately. I want to just I dunno. I have met the worlds most awesome people here in blogville and I have fallen inlove with all of you.. I really have.

RAMBLE STARTS! I HOPE YOU ALL CAN KEEP UP!

Don't you hate it when the people that you hold dear to your heart pretend they don't know you? or hey, I did not see you there... my all time favorite, They don't notice you at all? Well I have decided that I don't want to know such people like that anymore.. I don't want those friendships of Convenience for them. I don't care if you are online or offline. I don't want friends that know me sometimes and hide and or just don't remember me.....

I really want some ice cream right now, maybe that will help me to sleep and stop spilling all of my thoughts right now. I just let things bother me to much. But if I am good to people I have always been told they will be good back to ya. FAT LIE PEOPLE! I have grown so much blogging and just grown so much here lately from what life has taught me.. Life does not let you down, it is the people and or circumstances that we come in contact with that lets you down... beit family or friends or just people that passes by on the street, train, plane anywhere. I want to be one of those people that you remember for having a smile on her face. I am always the type that will hug you or just be there for you to listen to when you need a ear or a shoulder..

I hope I have been there for you, (those of you that have needed me) and those that may one day. Remember me, please, Not with tears, or sadness in my eyes or my voice but remember all the happy chats, phone calls(drunk Dials) I think It is time for me to get from behind this wall (computer screen) and make a life for myself. Stop drudging the past and carrying it around with me.. Maybe one day when you hear the name Hannah, Ne or Nehya you will say She was a great person... I hope so..

I am not saying I will not be around from time to time. But I will get out more. I will meet new people and I will leave the past, but remember all the sweet memories. I have a lil unfinished business to handle.. I will be blogging from time to time at one of my places just to update.. and you know I will farm on farmville.. Work is taking all of my time, and my eyes cannot stand to be infront of this bright light all the time... I love you all

Hannah, Ne, NeNe,, Nehya (watever it is you want to call me!) haha

OKAY, HERE IT IS!

OKAY!! I just want to say I have kept you all waiting long enough..
Here it is.. I told you all I have a acting coach, I could not go all the way to California and not try to make it onto the Red Carpet! So anyway... I went to do some headshots for my portfolio, I will show them later on but I have not even seen them because I seem to spend a lot of time in Kentucky.

So The photographer said that he knows someone that is looking for a face just like mine and that he is into commercials yet he also dabbles in some films .. MY FACE LIT UP and I was like really? He said you have what every person is looking for.. You are a free spirit is what he said! :O

Anyway... So Your Very own Hannah is going to end up in a commercial hopefully! if not I had fun just posing for the pics and I have so much fun in the classes.. So yeah That is MY big surprise.. I don't know what the commercials will be but hey! IT IS A START! for right now he told me to focus on food, lol he said I was too small I need a sammich so anyone want to take me out to a couple lunches or dinner??? lol

I have also learned to be out of sight here lately, going through something and well it is not that bad but at the same time I need to disappear....I feel that in some ways, me being away is what people need!! BUT I AM HAPPY!! and Next time I will have another surprise! lol I love keeping yall in the loop!!!!

Hannah!!!!!!!

I got a SURPRISE!!!

I have a surprise for all of yall in like a week! I know I know I am not a surprise kinda girl! I don't like to be surprised I want to know everything right then and then, but this time you have to wait.. You have to!! It is going to be soo good you are going to be so glad that you waited to either see, hear or both.. Just wait!!!

Love Yall!!

Hannah!

Do You Really "NEED" It?

Today I took a walk down memory lane, while I was out shopping with Paul..He said something that reminded me of my daddy.

Ever since I was a small girl, all of my wants and my needs have been met. My dad always made sure that we had it, even if it meant him staying at the office pretty much all night long.

Daddy always used to say, The only thing you really "NEED" is your needs, everything else is a luxury that you get every now and again. Nebaby, Money is something that you have to work really hard for, you will understand when you grow up and finally get a job of your own, you NEED to learn how to hold onto money.

I thought about a lot today, Mostly my needs. I kept on asking myself if my crying, pain and loneliness was something that I needed, and it is.. Surprised I learned this? We need heartache and such sad memories in life sometimes to help us get over other bad humps that we all go through or will eventually go through.. We need loneliness to Love and and cherish the time we have people around us..

Yes, I am 20 years old and I have learned this, not because I wanted too but because I needed to and this life was handed to me. When I think about my daddy I don't think in sadness anymore I think in happiness, because of him I am ready for the next step of my life. When I think about him or think about his words that he used to tell me, I see it as him putting his arms around my shoulders and giving me a pat on my back. I hope everyday with every decision that I make I am making him proud . I have a job that pays well and I am really good at.. I have my own house, car and some great friends that I will carry with me throughout life.

When I approach a situation, whether it is loneliness, sadness or anything other thing I can hear him in my head say Yes Nebaby you do....or the question that always came with my shopping Do You Really Need It?

Whining...........

I slept in today, and by sleeping in I mean I did not get up until like 4pm~ish..
I have not felt good at all for at least 3 mths, I try to forget about it throughout the day but today it really got to me.. I got up and met my friends at the airport and then came home and just rested to the point where they took my jeep and went to L.A. without me and I really did not care..

I wanted sleep, rest from pain.. Graves is something that I don't wish on noone.. Oneday you can see the next day you are pretty much blind.. Your legs and everything hurt so bad that you just decide to give up.. Only for a moment right now.. but I am wondering when I will just say that I am really sick and tired of being sick. I dunno and I guess it really does not matter at this point, I am moving on and hoping this disease don't kill me before I get a chance to do all that It is I want to accomplish in my life.. I lie every time I open my mouth about how good I feel, I don't want anyone to feel down or to be worried about me.. I just want to see my friends and family happy...

Okay enough whining I think I am going to go back to sleep and or lay here wondering about the one regret that is killing me right now..

Shalom!

A Bunch Of NOTHING!!!

First off let me say, I am sorry I have not been to your blogs! This apology goes out to the ones that really count in my life. I am sorry that, I don't get to chat and talk to you all like I normally do. It is not that I want it to be like this It has to be because I am still getting use to being in a different zone.

Okay lets pass the apologies and go to, I have missed a lot of you all.. I will be at your blogs before I head back to Cali tomorrow! but at this point I have to aire out and or vent.. can I do this for a min? If you said NO I am going to do it anyway!!

I want you all to know that I am fine, I promise.. I think I have had to say this many times. NO need to send emails.. I am away from the computer a lot due to just moving to California that is all. I promise to you I AM FINE! Shit I think better than Fine I just stepped on the scale this morning and I was 6lbs lighter, I don't know where it left from because I sure cannot fit until my jeans... Im just saying!! Anyway I am good....I did not run away and get married, but incase you went out and bought me a gift for me save it, I am sure I will be marrying Someone in Hollywood soon! ie..Denzel Washington.. Oh I have a list of them I could marry at anytime..

On the last post I said I had a surprise to tell ya but since it was so long ago I will just say I am taking Acting Classes, SO I just may end up on a commercial really soon or maybe just straight on the Red Carpet!! lol I am trying to keep busy, keep my mind off of things and finally just being ME!

I don't have a lot to say this time, I am going back to Cali on Tues! soo I am there if you want contact me and I am not online, Send me a message at Danestorm1@gmail.com.. I am getting rid of Singlendacity89 email soon! I am not cool anymore I have nothing to blog about! lol

I Love yall!!
Hannah!!!!

Checking IN...

So, I am in California.. A state that I never even had a desire to live in.
I was suppose to sign a 6mth lease today but I ended up only signing a
3 mth lease. I am the type of person that does not want to commit to
something like this without ya know really liking it. I met up with one
of my many bosses Bob, that was almost an hour late picking me up from
the airport. Then on to check into the hotel room.

Avi met me there so that he could take me to the apartment to sign the
lease. After everything was settled and I went shopping, I decided it was
time for me to take a nap. I have been laying across this bed forever, I did
go out to eat, but I ordered in. I am getting ready to just lay here and read
a book and then, we all know what will happen, I am going to go to bed. I am
going to a rock climbing place in the morning for some cardio.. then I am going
to get ready to come home, I don't know I may stay a lil while longer. I dunno.

Something great has happened to me since I arrived I guess I should tell ya,
but then again I will tell you in the next post or at least one of them. lol

I miss all of yall, and well I guess this is where I am suppose to be. BOB says hi..
and we are getting ready to give each other facials.. So CD there is your answer!!

Hannah!!